Lizards, snakes and a bunch of well placed humans.

You let go of life with the same grace and beauty that you lived it. I knew that day in the kitchen, tearfully accepting your gifts with my name on them, I knew from that fervent glow in your eyes. I knew that you were letting go of things with a peacful love and that these gifts were gifts from your heart. You were taking care of things that you could and letting go of the rest. I loved you dearly with every bone in my body. I know you felt the same. There is always that awkward silence near the end. When the work of living becomes more than the work of letting go. You had reached this point I know.

You are right you know... there are babies all over this house. This house has become a safehold for memories where tiny footprints beat the path along the wood floors. I know you heard them in your last moments. The tiny footprints of babies present and babies past. Generations of babies have walked those floors. Don't worry my love, I will take the dark haired girl in my lap. I will love her and tell her that you did too. I will take care of the little one without the shoes, her feet will be warm on those hardwood floors.

When I sat next to you that day and watched your body hard at work at holding on, I knew your spirit had already let go. I knew that anything we had to say had already been wordlessly passed on to you. I sat in silence and watched you sleep. You created so many things. A peice of you will always live in the children.

Goodbye Mangee, I am sure that you are with Bampa now. Tell him I loved him too. The same as you. Tell him those things we shared in the last moments and tell him that I am happy that you are together but miss you both terribly.