And so it is

Halloween marks the first holiday that you are no longer in my everyday life.  Time seems to move so fast yet trickle so slow at the same time.  We had a great holiday, marked with the usual minor forgetting of a detail here or some lack of time and money there.  I would say it was one of the best ones yet.  Even so, there is something missing, something I wasn’t expecting to lose just yet.  Something I wasn’t ready to be finished with.  We have not forgotten your absence, it has just become less acutely painful.  

If I could only find the words I dream that they won't go unheard.

Oh, 

if I could only make time stand still for a moment.
Capture a memory, live it one more time, would I believe?
That I would really change a thing?
A second chance to get it right?
I think the end is close at hand.
I had a vision I don't understand.

(Is this by Oingo Boingo)

When you are at a place where every choice is wrong the only choice is inaction.  Stop, assess the damage and be still.  Wait to become the nostalgia.  Let go of the dreams you held, the moments that were supposed to be.  Step aside and let the world teach them the things that would have come so much more gently from you.