You let go of life with the same grace and beauty that you lived it. I knew that day in the kitchen, tearfully accepting your gifts with my name on them, I knew from that fervent glow in your eyes. I knew that you were letting go of things with a peacful love and that these gifts were gifts from your heart. You were taking care of things that you could and letting go of the rest. I loved you dearly with every bone in my body. I know you felt the same. There is always that awkward silence near the end. When the work of living becomes more than the work of letting go. You had reached this point I know.

You are right you know... there are babies all over this house. This house has become a safehold for memories where tiny footprints beat the path along the wood floors. I know you heard them in your last moments. The tiny footprints of babies present and babies past. Generations of babies have walked those floors. Don't worry my love, I will take the dark haired girl in my lap. I will love her and tell her that you did too. I will take care of the little one without the shoes, her feet will be warm on those hardwood floors.

When I sat next to you that day and watched your body hard at work at holding on, I knew your spirit had already let go. I knew that anything we had to say had already been wordlessly passed on to you. I sat in silence and watched you sleep. You created so many things. A peice of you will always live in the children.

Goodbye Mangee, I am sure that you are with Bampa now. Tell him I loved him too. The same as you. Tell him those things we shared in the last moments and tell him that I am happy that you are together but miss you both terribly.

does it make you feel loved

... to have a cold milk cup dropped on your back while you are leaning foward in your computer chair?

....to have warm drool running down your arm

.... your hair chewed on...

.... boogers wiped on you

.... a ketchup kiss

..... a hurt toe shoved in your face for a kiss

Do you feel loved... or just a little dirty and used? LOL

Brittany Spears

Gives Koolaide to her babies in a bottle... Or so an often sensational tabloid once commented... Does that make us bad mothers??? *innocent look*



LOL.. actually it's Crystal light.. if that makes a difference... and I don't really give it to the bitty baby. :d

Fishing

I wanted to make a post about fishing. My family loves to fish but are somewhat at a loss as to what to do when we actually catch one. I know Dwain hates to clean the fish and I hate to kill them. My dad makes fun of us...

Dwain and Daine went fishing EARLY one morning... too early for me in fact. I stayed home with the girls and slept in. Around 7:30 I got a call... "fill the bathtub the fish are still alive"

All I can say is EWWWWWWWWW

Gross live fish





































The after fishing dog pile of love LOL

The name makes sense

Or is beginning to...

We have three wonderful beautiful cats full of personality. Jewel was brought to us by surprise by my husband's father. He wanted us to "keep her for awhile" Of course... she is now our cat and we love her. I got Josie at our local animal shelter to keep Jewel company. They were a perfect pair. Josie has a daring and fun personality that compliments Jewel's reserved side. About a year later I was at pet smart with my mom looking at kitties... This beautiful grey cat was telling me her sad story. I told her that I couldn't have any more cats and that two was quite enough for one household. She said that the shelters were full of plain grey cats like herself with wonderful expressive eyes. I caved and brought her home. The name the shelter had given her was Jasmine which sounds very funny along with Josie and Jewel. It turns out that she has a personality to match my other two cats and is expressive, fun and inquisitive. She steals the kids socks and throws them into the air with wild abandon, pretending she is hunting a wild animal and protecting her beloved family. She sleeps in strange positions all over the house and has been known to run along our ceiling shelves happily surveying her kingdom.

So to finish what I was saying... We decided to take the kids to the park today to ride their new pedal car and get all their wild run off... There was a sad little kitty next to our car when we went to go home. He was thin and had a hoarse little cry. I told him that he needed to go home and that four kitties was WWWWWWWWWAYYYY too much for any house. He said that he didn't have a home and hadn't eaten for days. I will take him to the shelter tomorrow to get the vet care he needs, but he said he really needed a meal and a safe place to sleep for the night. I have wanted to call him Jeffery.

This is bad....

Random pics of kids in the car

Uncle Mitch's Birthday Party

Here is a pic of all the cousins together. Ruby didn't want to participate.

There's (from left to right) Kayla, Olivia, Ruby, Quinn and Ava

Concert

We went to a whalers concert in the park. It was a lot of fun on a nice summery day. Daine was facinated with the stunt bikes and mom and I were facinated with the fried fish wagon. It was called Kilted Cod and we could smell the fish as we were walking into the park.
They had spread little beach balls in the shape of fish all over the park and the kids had a blast. Ava spent most of the day running back and forth between me and her dad. Thank god for the leash!! Kayla kept hoarding beach balls and then pretending people had just dropped them off. It was a lot of fun but I was pretty worn out after a very short time. Ruby rode in the sling some of the way and the stroller the rest. She is very easy to please and pretended like she was back in the womb.


Ava doesn't like heights tall daddy!!!


Olive is a nut












What beach balls??


sleeping princess


Backpack and binky

Ava likes coffee

OOps.. Bad mommy!!



We did have the infant and toddler program come out to see her. She qualifies for speech therapy but has NO signs or symptoms of Autism anywhere on the spectrum. I am SOOOO glad. I feel like a big weight was lifted off my chest. The specialist said that she looks to others for aproval when she does something right and she brings things to show me. It was a big relief. However... Ava still only says about 5 words consistantly.

Ava 2 Birthday

Ava's second birthday was fun. She got a cute German Chocolate cake that was decorated by the deli. THEN I decorated it. I put Peanut butter M&M's on it and wrote Ava on the side. I put Nemo candies on it caus she loves fish. It was a little overdone I must say. Dwain laughed at me. Ava was thrilled with blowing out the candles and tried to spit on the cake. I think Kayla blew the candles out under my arm though when I wasn't looking. I pretended not to notice. Ava's current favorite toy from her birthday is her "baby littlest pet shop". Its a little foldable house that came with a dog, cat, person and various grooming items. She loves it and packs it everywhere. It drives Kayla nuts though that she doesn't "play with it right". She likes to have the house upside down and make the little critters dance on it.
here's some pics. I forgot to upload the cake ones though so those will have to wait. :D