Determination

While on a trip to Moscow to visit the sister and nephews, Ava lost her tooth.    It was barely loose when we left town and three days later she had wiggled it tirelessly to it's eventual liberation.  I didn't want it getting lost on the trip so I put it in a GIANT ziplock in my purse.  She was fascinated by her newly separated body part though and would not leave the tooth alone.  I told her that the tooth fairy couldn't come when we got home if she didn't leave the tooth alone.  We had less than 24 hours left at my sister's and I didn't want to deal with the ritual at her house with 7 handsy children in the house.   At one point my nephew was suspiciously nosing around my purse.  Ava had recently gotten a speaking to about trying to sneak her tooth again so I asked him what he might be up to.  "getting Ava's tooth" he said.  You have to love a boy with clear motives.  I asked him why he was getting the tooth...  "Ava wants it" was his answer.  Again I talked to her about what would happen if she lost the tooth.  She complained off and on the whole 7 hour drive and repeatedly asked why she couldn't have the tooth in the car.  "mamma... I just need to look at it!!"  I let her look, but she wouldn't leave it in the bag and within several hours of being home she had lost the tooth somewhere in the house never to be seen again.

This is where I feel like a bad mom. I feel strongly that consequences must come from both the parents and external sources.  I truly believe that in order for a child to learn responsibility for themselves and their actions that motivation to do what is right must be gained from the outside world.  In other words...  I don't steal because bad things will happen to me in the world.  When they see that consequences are universal, both good and bad then they also begin to form a basis of morality.  I don't do bad because bad things happen eventually becomes I don't do bad because I am a good person.  If a child is to learn self control then motivation to be good must be in place via natural consequence.  I am not the bad guy... the universe hands out punishments and rewards and I am here to teach you how to get the most out of life because I love you.

SO... the tooth fairy didn't come for Ava.  A week later she pulled her own tooth.  This time the tooth fairy came... I am floored at the tenacity of this small child.