Trip to Palouse

My camera is broken, it is about the fifth camera I have broken in just a few short years so I used my phone to take pictures.  I think they turned out alright.  It is a short 6 hour drive to where some of my favorite people in the world live.  She lives in a little house in a tiny town and she does what we all have learned to do, make the best of where you are at. We are adept at making our little piece of the world feel like heaven.  We went swimming in the public pool, I never do things like that at home.  It was fun, the kids swam and swam until they were hungry and cranky.  We hiked at the arboratorium and rolled down the biggest hill the kids have ever seen.  Chels and I rolled once too.   Not quite as fun as when you are little. I got a new tattoo, she did it at her birthday party while Lucas made cake, letting the little ones stir the batter with unending patience.  We watched the fireworks in Pullman at midnight.  The kids got to ride a bus at night.  I wished I had more pictures.

What will my memories of this time be like 10, 5 or even 2 years from now?

 I am a very positive person. It seems even the times that were the darkest to me shine like bright stones in the river bed when enough time has been allowed to pass. This time now isn't particularly dark. It has been full of good, bad and monotony. I watch them play, trying to capture a moment in time to remember.

 What will I hold on to?

There are several memories that stick out as the best right now. I wonder what emotions will carry over. They tan as dark as native Americans in the summer. Each one decorated with the white designs of their swimsuits on their backs. A ghostly reminder of winter on their tiny bodies. Even though it is just us now, we manage to fill the days. They still want to be with me and do what I am doing. The oldest less now. She has entered the age where parents cease to be all knowing. She knows I make mistakes and am wrong sometimes. She also knows that she has a strong will and tests it against me frequently. I try to fill the days with friends and activities, sometimes feeling as if we are carrying on in a post apocalyptic time.  Sometimes it seems that it is just them and I alone in the world.    I feel that soon the pretending will stop. I will have to stop pretending that they are mine forever and learn to enjoy a new life without their tiny laughter and bickering in the back seat of our station wagon. I will have to learn to be me instead of mom.

Things that are awesome

I need a list:

New floors
A lower mortgage
Asperagus and spray butter
Tooth bleaching and tooth colored fillings
Mushrooms
Dish towels with hearts
Children that are excited about vegetables
Earl grey flavored smokage
Olivia's new glasses
Ugly corduroy pants
Ice tea
Tourtoise solar lights... Well really just solar lights in general.
Ruby introducing her toy turtle to our solar lamp Tourtoise.
Wonder pets on the iPod
The iPod in general
Kindle books
Awesome glass kitchen lights
My bike
Vacuum cleaner
Iced tea
My new living room rug
Eggs!
Packing a lunch to go to the dentist
Wearing butterfly wings practically everywhere
4 days off
Talking to grownups
A handprint in the shape of a Christmas tree
My flowered wingback chair
My pussy willow shrub
Internet streaming
My laptop

I should never be sad

Wicked sprites

Evil short people live in my house. They steal remotes and my flashlight. They hide under the covers and play with my iPod. These beings are most certainly NOT my children. Or so they tell me.