NOT a crazy cat lady

Sensitive Subjects

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 06:37:00 +0000

Kayla, my child with aspergers, is wonderful and bright. She is a great artist and is always doing something fun. I love getting her papers because you never know what little story will unfold in the edges of the paper. She draws elaborate stories all along each homework page, sometimes it is fish in the sea and other times a collection of monsters. They have great adventures... I don't let on that these are more fun to me than any grade she gets in school. I have always known she was bright but this year others are seeing it too. She was accepted into the GATE program, otherwise known as gifted and talented. Chelsie says that this is a euphemism for annoying. Kayla is real... there is no ego, no bravado, things are what they are. She doesn't realize that it is a huge honor to be accepted into this program and is only excited about the community garden that they will be planting. She scores exceptionally high on her standardized tests but is very lacking in attention span and social skills... an example.

I was given a robe that belonged to my grandmother, it is a large soft fleece robe. I have a great robe already... that I never wear so I thought Kayla might like to have this. It is soft and big.. just right for a kid to wrap up in while watching TV or to snuggle with in bed. Kayla asks "mom, did my grandmother die in this robe? I think that would be cool." I always have to think carefully about how to respond to questions like this to prevent later embarrassment. Kayla is by no means thoughtless or mean. She wants to please people and she wants to be liked but has no idea how to go about this. Death is not a taboo subject for her... neither are divorce, mental health problems, or bathroom discussions. She simply says what is on her mind in an analytical and purposeful fashion. She has no idea that a question like that could hurt someones feelings or make someone sad. I responded "Kayla, your grandmother did NOT die in that robe. I am your mother, it's ok to ask me these questions but many people might find a subject like that sad or inappropriate. I would really appreciate it if you didn't ask other people questions like this." You have to be really clear with Kayla... this subject is not ok in ANY social circles... it's not just me that finds it inappropriate. She doesn't understand that social circles everywhere are pretty much the same and that most people find the same subjects offensive. She nods knowingly... "I get it mom... it's one of those sensitive things. I won't ask anyone else... are you sure she didn't die in this? I would still like it." YES Kayla I am sure!

I am really hoping the subject doesn't come up later anyway... sometimes she just can't help herself.

FALL

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Sat, 17 Oct 2009 06:59:00 +0000

Fall is my next favorite season... Lots is always going on. Chilly outside and LOVE the rain. Kinda hard to get the kids outside though and I must admit they kind of drive me crazy. I think we were hit by the lovely swine flu, my kids are so darn tough though.. Not a complaint even though Olivia had a temp of 104 twice. I can hear her sad little cough.. they are all in my bed. Wonder where I am sleeping. Chels has been over a ton and I am having a lot of fun getting closer to the boys. They are a wonderfully loud addition to the normal action around here. Gotta love it. Can't wait for Halloween!!

My babies

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 03:55:00 +0000

Weird compliments

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 07:51:00 +0000

Kids have a different veiw of things that are nice to say than adults do. The things that they think are a compliment are not always very flattering. It is funny to listen to them trying to figure out the social code.

for example, my mother's day card from Kayla this year says:

If my mom were a flower she would be a lovely flower, she is the most lovelely person.
If my mom were a super hero, she would be batgirl because she has never been on a plane before. If she were a car she would be a race car because her love is fast to catch. If she were a tv show she would be Silly Love because she is silly but I love it.

On the back is a picture of a snake covered in hearts and above that reads "my mom is as lovely as a snake".

hmm... wonder what that means.

Kayla's friend Cass, who I believe has a simaler disabilty as Kayla once told me I was as beautiful as a horse.

Olivia says that "you are beautiful cause you are big"

I told Ava I loved her today.. she says "I love sharks"

You know... I really do feel loved anyway. :)

funny girl

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 05:59:00 +0000

I came home to wild Ava with her pants on backwards and no shirt... her hair is standing straight on end and she is screaming MOMMY MOMMY I miss u TWO days!!!! She asked if I have to work. I said nope, mommy is home now. "good u stay home with "EBA". (she calls herself eba, it reminds me of the Wall-E character.) She says "mommy, clean this bathroom. Clean the toilet, the sink, and here (pointing at the mirror) It's dirty." I asked her if she would help me. "Nope". I asked if daddy was going to help. "Nope, u do it yourself, daddy did the dishes."

She is so funny... She stands on the bathroom counter dictating at me. I asked her why she is standing on the counter and she says. "it fun".

It amazes me how smart she is. She knows that she sleeps in my bed when dad is gone for work. "She says, daddy workin? I sleep in mommy's nite nite. It Fun. I watch Curious George." There is always something funny coming out of her mouth these days. I want to write it all down before I forget it but something is always distracting me and then I can't remember.

We have had a busy couple weeks. It is too hot to stay home, everyone wants to be in the water. We have been swimming at mel's house, and the water park. Can't go to the lake right now cause of toxic alge... bummer, but there is still a lot to do. Sometimes we just go to the rec center, which is fun but a little scary.. Ava doesn't think she has any limitations and neither does Olivia. One time the life guard had to jump in and save Olivia (who was right behind me) cause she scooted her way in over her head and got scared. She still tries to do this but I keep a much better eye out. It was a little nerve racking and the life guard was pretty grumpy about the whole thing.

The newest thing the kids have been doing lately is horse riding. Kayla is pretty much a natural. Well... she is at most things. She rides that horse like she has been doing it her whole life. I love watching her. Everyone was scared the first time on the horse but now it is like they LIVE to do it. Ava rides the horse without me holding onto her and Ruby even got on. Olivia is a little leary still but she did ride once without hands on help from me and Mel. We of course stay close and follow the horse when the little's ride but Kayla is pretty much on her own. She can lead the horses and put their bridles on. She can even brush them and mount the horse on her own. I am in complete amazement that it took so little instruction. It gets kind of freaky though with only two adults and five or six kids, but Mel is great. She becomes my other pair of eyes and makes sure the kids are following all the rules. She is wonderfully patient with them and takes time to explain things over and over. I am so glad I found her for a friend.

Missin Danny

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 19:15:00 +0000

I have been thinking a lot lately about someone I used to know. My first love, although I didn't realize it at the time. I was 15 and he had leukemia. I think there was always a thought in the back of my mind that he could die but it was also a kind of surreal thought. People I knew didn't die, only old people and sick people died and Daniel had too much spirit to be a sick person. His body was weak and he was very thin, sometimes he had beautiful blond curls and other times his hair fell out and he would shave his head.

I remember pushing him to do more than he was physically able... I remember being 15 and wanting to do everything and not wanting to wait... sometimes he would be too tired and we would go without him other times we would stay home with him and I would watch him sleep. It was only in his sleep that you could see the pain in his body.

When Danny smiled his whole face shone. He had perfect small white teeth and blue eyes that were so light they looked like you could see through them. He was very pale and often had flushed cheeks that gave him a childlike quality and when he laughed you could hear the pureness of his soul. I loved him but I was very selfish at that age. I often didn't want to understand the seriousness in the situation. I didn't want to care about the fact that he was dying. Danny was a lifeline for me in the hard years that were my early teens. I had few true friends that and I often felt, as most teenagers do, that nobody really understood me. I had self esteem issues and was often the class clown because if I was funny then people would leave me alone. Danny wasn't in school... his immune system was often not strong enough and although I didn't' realize it at the time, his parents had decided that his last few years should be spent at home. His prognosis was very poor.

I had a habit at that age of seeing everyone as better than me, smarter than me. It is a habit I still fight today... I thought that Danny was always in control, and in charge of his situation. I always assumed that he was doing me a favor and that I was getting much more from our friendship than he was. I was so lucky to be his friend and I didn't' want to miss a minute that I could be spending with him. I know now that we both filled a need in each other. We had holes in our hearts that were the same, a matched pair. I lived in my parent's basement and was very reclusive... I could go days sometimes without touching another person. I needed to connect, I needed to talk, I needed unconditional friendship. Danny spent long hours alone, people left him alone because they were afraid to break him. They didn't' touch him because they were afraid of causing him pain. At times his whole body hurt, he had bone pain from the leukemia and had many bone marrow biopsies and other painful procedures. His parents both worked full time and overtime so that when he had chemo or a procedure they could afford the day off. He spent a lot of the day home. He sometimes had a nurse that came to the house but she insisted that he rest in his room most days. We both were dying to be touched. We needed to hold onto each other...

I was not a person who liked to be hugged or touched... Danny was always touching people when he talked, he always had his hand on my leg or his head on my shoulder. To this day... I can't stand to have someones head on my shoulder, it fills me with a deep loss that I can't shake. At first I used to shrug off his hand or scoot away when he sat next to me out of self consciousness but he filled me with a sense of belonging that I began to need. On days when he couldn't leave the house because his counts were to low, I carefully washed my hands and wore my mask that fogged up my glasses just so I could be near him. We would watch old movies and I would hand him his water often and I felt important. I felt as if we were sharing some experience and I was truly someone he needed. Sometimes while we were watching movies he would fall asleep.... often in the middle of a deep conversation and I would have to lay in an awkward position for hours not wanting to disturb him... I would smell his hair and the feeling of touching him filled me with belonging. We were truly equal in spirit and intellect. We could talk for hours about things and usually had most of the same opinions. Danny liked to furiously argue his point, even when I agreed with him. Sometimes I made it home before my parents got home, sometimes I didn't. I remember not caring though... I knew that they could never understand the deep need I felt and that I didn't want to share him with anyone.

I remember the 3am taco bell trips.. I remember seeing his huge smile standing over me and his blue eyes sparkling even though his face was pale and I could tell that he had been woken up too. Our mutual best friend was Nick.. Nick was deaf and British, he was also very impulsive and could be somewhat selfish. Nick was older than us by a couple years and could be funny, lively, and wonderful yet in the same breath sullen, pouty and jealous. For all intensive purposes, he was the older brother I never had... I loved him fiercely yet fought with him just as fiercely. I sometimes played cruel jokes on him and once even made him cry when I told him to find someone else to fight with. Nick had a car... and when he got you up in the middle of the night... you went. Daniel wasn't the best eater for obvious reasons... his stomach always hurt and food tasted different after chemo, but he would eat a burrito supreme from taco bell... every time, sometimes he would eat two of them. I don't' know why Nick chose 3am to go to taco bell... we could have gone anytime more convenient but for some reason this was Nick's witching hour. He said that sometimes the loudness of the silence would wake him and he just needed us. We always went even though I often fell asleep in class and almost NEVER did any homework. I remember Daniel telling me he put on four pounds in a month because of Nick's strange habit. I laughed... even though I had probably put on more than that from finishing Danny's leftovers and was slightly self conscious about it.

It was during one of these strange meetings that I got my first kiss. We were parked somewhere up by Idaho city in the woods, probably a day campground and Nick had wandered off somewhere, presumably to pee, although I don't remember him saying. Laying in the bed of Nick's pickup looking at the stars through sleepy eyes I could hear the river flowing and the feel of Danny's slow sleepy breathing it was warm on my cheek. I was almost asleep when I noticed it had been awhile since I felt a breath.... I waited a few seconds.... My heart slightly pounding I turned to face him and he was smiling... Before I had time to even be angry with him he put his hand on my face and pulled me close... The moment was so right I forgot to be afraid... I forgot all my fears about my first kiss and fell in love.. I wasn't worried about where my nose was or if I was doing it right.. I knew Danny didn't care...

Danny had a way of seeing inside of people. He was intuitive beyond belief and would often know what we were thinking before we did. He always said the right things and knew just what to do when someone was sad or hurting. I was very socially awkward and self centered even though I had no idea at the time, I was often thinking about how I looked and who was noticing me. I was always worried about being liked and one unkind word could set off a cascade of self hating lasting for days. Danny would often listen for hours about the boy at school who had called me a name, or how I felt that my life was horrible and that no one liked me. He would smile and say... "then they are wrong, cause I know what I like." I realize now, with more adult understanding that what he was going through was so much more real than what I was telling him about. I know now that he knew he was dying. He knew that the chemo, and the bone marrow biopsies were unnecessary pain that didn't much prolong the inevitable. I know, in my heart, that Danny has since passed away. I know that I left him when he really needed someone, that he loved me and he died without me. I didn't know anything about cancer I didn't know anything about the survival rates when someone had relapsed several times. I didn't really want to know what the eventual end would be. He was horribly sick for several days after treatments. I knew that he would often have to vomit without warning and was extremely embarrassed when it happened.

The only time I ever saw Danny cry was during one of these episodes. We were at the park laughing at the birds. Danny was maybe three days past his last treatment. All our friends were there Danny was being his usual life of the party self. He was talking, laughing and his eyes were shining. I was fairly quiet, just watching him, I wanted to be like him. Everyone loved him, everyone hung on his every word and waited for what he was going to say next. He was the funniest and most interesting person at the table and he didn't even know it. He was completely without ego or self consciousness. Then he began to vomit... Nicky got him to the bathroom and left him alone. When several minutes had passed, everyone had continued talking (this happened a lot) I snuck in to check on him. He was crumpled in a pile next to the toilet on the dirty floor sobbing, between sobs he violently threw up. He looked so fragile at that moment I couldn't stand to see him. I slipped back out of the bathroom and told Nicky to go check on him I was so shaken I couldn't let him know I had seen but I wish I had helped him. Instead... 20 or so minutes later Nick came out with him leaning a little on his arm. Danny was smiling but his face was impossibly pale and Nick shoved a note in my face that said "taking Danny home". I told him something lame like," hope you feel better Danny", but in that moment he was lost. His smile was plastic and his eyes were glazed. I wished I was tough enough to go home with him. to sit by his bed so he wasn't alone. There was a glow in his eyes that was almost hopeless, and a sort of quiet panic.

It was several days before I saw him again. Nick had taken him to the hospital later that day and he spent several days in and out getting fluids and anti-nausea meds. I think he had even asked for me but i was so ashamed it left a bad taste in my mouth and I avoided him. I could be like that sometimes....

When he was up to it we went on another taco bell run. We sat in Nicks truck eating and joking when he suddenly whispered, "I know you were there... I'm sorry, I'm sorry I scared you... I'm sorry I scare everyone... whatever..."

"Danny don't say whatever, you sound like a valley girl" was all I managed and he laughed... He knew I meant more... he had to.

It is the way of the world; that someone as wonderful, musical, and full of life as Danny would have to be dying. At the age of fifteen this irony was lost on me and so was Danny eventually. My parents divorced, we moved away. I called him a few times but eventually the calls got further and further apart. The last conversation we had he was laughing and talking about Nick's latest antics and he said, "I miss taco bell." I laughed and said "it's still there, jeeze Danny, I miss you too"

"You know that's what I meant" he said.

It felt like the right time to ask and so I said "how is it really going, how are you really?" I knew as soon as the words left my mouth that I didn't really want to know. I didn't want to worry about him and I didn't want to see his pain. I wanted him to always be there to listen and have someone to call when I needed to complain. I wanted to hurt him by telling him about my latest dates and which guys liked me. I wanted it to be superficial and funny. I wanted to make jokes and rewind my last statement.... Please... please let him tell a joke so I don't have to face his reality.

His voice became papery and somewhat harsh... It was the only time he ever talked this way to me. He said "didn't you know Janelle?"

"What??" I said. I felt a little scared.

He said, "it's been a losing battle from the start."

I felt empty.... I didn't really want to know how he was. I really just wanted life to go by somewhat devoid of negative emotion. I didn't want to feel the guilt I had, and the sadness I was going to feel when I lost him. It just wasn't real and I didn't want to face it. We talked for another half hour or so.. joking and laughing but that statement stayed with us, hovering like a shadow above the rest of our conversation. His voice had become somehow thinner, as if admitting to the inevitability of his life had taken some life from him. When we were ready to hang up after several goodbyes he said "I meant to say I missed you, I hope you know that. "

"Love you Danny", I said... and the shadow disappeared. It was several weeks before I tried his number again... It was disconnected.

I know in my heart he is gone... but sometimes I hope that someday he will call me. He will find me. He will have a beautiful charismatic wife and three little boys and I will see him again.

Confessions to scare the childless couple

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 04:34:00 +0000

I am writing this... just because.

I have bendaroos stuck to my wall in the shape of a bow.
I have a toothbrush and scissors on my desk (??!!)
I have a dog curled up on my freshly washed laundry... he's very cute.

I hear mass giggling... only to find five little heads bent over 9 hermit crabs crawling with reckless abandon on my clean tablecloth
I catch my three year old leaping, legs and arms spread wide, off her dresser and onto her new toddler bed.
The cat licks it's butt on my kitchen counter.
There is playdoh in my hair.
There is A LOT of marker under my tablecloth... same marker is on the carpet, the laundry room door and my dryer
The appliances that wash things... are dirty.
There are worms in the dryer
There are princess stickers on my computer
There are bug stickers on some doors
There are bandaids in the bathtub
There are five pieces of gum spit out on the floor... (they are hot.... (well why then did you try five pieces??!!))
There are five children yelling into the fan. This is okay... until they start yelling butt and fart and horrify the mailman.
Said mailman makes fun of us.

The pizza guy knows my oldest's name.
He also knows my dog's name
So does the lady at McDonalds.
I have five hairbrushes but can only find my least favorite one at any given time.
Any food when eaten by a one year old is messy and can triple in size.
I have been known to wear pajama pants and sandals..... to the store
The word "itchy" means I don't like it and I am NOT going to wear it.
So does "ucky princess"
A child with her hair done and a pretty dress can get just as dirty as one wearing only socks and a diaper.
I sometimes do dishes at night because that is the only time nobody is unloading behind me and placing soup cans in the dish rack.
My little ponies melt in the dishwasher
The heated drying cycle of the dishwasher can start a fire... which leads to the "beep beeps" going off, much screaming and one or two kids in the front yard. Thus practicing our monthly test of fire safety.
Sometimes... there is a mess that you have NO idea how to clean!!
Spaghetti is on everything.
Also... for some reason... food tastes better if your hair gets a taste too!

From 20090611005532

From 20090612003326

forgive me...

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Fri, 12 Jun 2009 17:12:00 +0000

but, I LOVE these movie thingies. I have so much fun putting the pics in order and matching up a song. Anyway... we went to the zoo yesterday, it was a lot of fun. I could almost go every day. The kids had a blast and I only spent like 15 bucks cause it was half off day!! WOO.. Ruby was pretty miserable without her nap. She threw sand in everyone's eyes at the sandbox, got a black eye when she fell running away from me, and threw a HUGE fit when the carosel ride was over. All in all though, I think it was an excellent day. I love to take them places.. especially outdoors with animals. I think one of the most important things to pass on to our children is a love of nature. It doesn't matter what creature, there is a place for them all in the universe. My kids are slowly learning a respect for nature and animals, we have had a huge assortment of pets. We also have rescued several sparrows and I taught them how to mix the baby food and how to hand feed them with the ends of q-tips. We have also felt he pangs of loss when an animal that is part of the family dies. I know in my heart that these lessons are the ones that really matter.

They just dont stay little

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 04:26:00 +0000

We love the lake

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 21:38:00 +0000

Why stay home? It's hot outside!!

Ava's true feelings

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:45:00 +0000

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 16:18:00 +0000

I love summer... I am totally admitting to the fact that my lack of posting has been due to the fact that I am hardly on the computer anymore. I just want to be outside outside outside. I don't even want to go to work anymore :D. Ava is turning into such an amazing little girl. Her speech gets better every day even though it is hard to understand it is great to finally see what makes her tick. I love hearing about her thoughts and what strange thing she is going to come up with yet. I bore everyone at work with my stories about my wild life with children. I don't think anyone is luckier than me.... No matter what the day was like... or what kind of rejection i recieve in the outside world... there will always be a house full of people who love me... I will walk in the door to be assaulted with MOM MOM MOM.... They overwhelm me with questions and requests... but I wouldn't trade it for anything... these people are mine.. my home is safe and we all accept each other faults and all. People at work are always saying "you got your hands full"... but they don't realize that the work involved... the time.... I am trading it for something that is so precious and amazing. I wouldn't give it up for all the wild nights they spend partying... all the trips to vegas... all the alone time in the world. They have NO idea what they are missing!

Idaho City

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 20:16:00 +0000

Here are our pics from Idaho City... as long promised.

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 18:37:00 +0000

More Ava-isms

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Mon, 27 Apr 2009 22:06:00 +0000

Coobus = school bus

She loves to go fishing and often asks for fishin fun.

Taya, wibia, wooby Kayla, Olivia, Ruby

Daddy NEAN= daddy mean

MOMMY hear it... cops?? hear it??? Ambulence... HEAR it??

She repeats everthing multiple times utill I repeat it back. I always say she is practicing speech therapy on me. She is officially entered into preschool and starts this week... Did I also mention that she is potty trained?? WOOO!!

Strange Ocean Organisms

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 03:07:00 +0000

Check out this SlideShare Presentation:

Strange Ocean Organisms

View more presentations from Mollyorty.

Olivia

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Tue, 21 Apr 2009 22:21:00 +0000

I haven't posted about this yet.... Was kind of mulling the whole thing over. Olivia went to her regular well child checkup last week and the Dr. noticed that she had fallen off the growth charts. She was previously in the 5th percentile or so but now wasn't even registering on the chart at all. She had only grown 2 cm's in the last year. He was concerned that there was something wrong with her thyroid so he sent us for thyroid studies and bone age scans. The thyroid tests involved a blood draw. Olivia had already had 2 shots that day that she wasn't aware were coming and was quite dismayed to hear about a blood test. I decided to do that first and get it out of the way. She was pretty good... the phlebotomist said that it usually took more than two people to do it on a kid that age... Olive is pretty little though... SHE was mad!!!

the bone scans were just a series of x-rays on her hands and that went a lot faster. Once I told her there were no pokes involved she went willingly. I believe in telling my kids ahead of time if they will receive a shot or blood draw, I think that it creates a sense of trust and that they know you won't lie to them. If I don't know.. I say I don't know... but if I tell them they aren't going to get a shot and Dr says they need one, I make a separate appointment. It irritates the docs and nurses but I feel it is the best way.

Even though the bone scans were just a series of x-rays.... I was reminded of what people who's kids have medical issues must feel like. Watching my small daughter sitting under that huge machine... explaining what was going to happen and why in child terms, and reasoning with her why she had to have a needle in her arm..... It was all so surreal...

I am not sure how I would handle that all the time.... I don't know how anyone does......

Later that week the Doctor called me and said that her thyroid tests were normal but that her bone scans showed the bones of a four year old. He couldn't seem to tell me why except that he needed more tests. I asked a lot of questions but really didn't get any more definitive answers. He wants another blood test though and if this one is altered... then we will be referred to a pediatric endocrinologist. There isn't one in the valley.... we will have to either go to Portland or see the one who visits here every few months. I was assured thought that waiting for awhile would be alright since she has several years of growth ahead of her. I just wish I didn't have to take her for the blood draw. :(

Girls

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Mon, 20 Apr 2009 02:43:00 +0000

Here are some new pictures of the kids.

Here's where Olivia learned not to walk with her hands in her pockets anymore. Someone bumped her on the playground and she went face first and couldn't stop. We thought she broke her nose.

Ava-isms

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 16:29:00 +0000

Right now I am at work... and probably shouldn't be on here but everyone is asleep and I really don't have much to do. This weekend we went to Idaho City and spent the night. Ruby stayed with Grandma and Daine went with us. It was so nice to get out and be in the woods. The kids had a great time fishing and we caught a frog the first day. Ava was totally potty trained most of the trip.

I will post pictures later.

Ava has started talking like crazy the last few days though... after our first night in Idaho City she spent Almost an hour telling me all about what we did that day. She said "went bye bye fishing, and had FUN, threw rocks, found froggy, and had fun! Fall down, and have fun, Playin rocks, and ice cream! Have fun. Ruby at kymas (grandma).

When we picked up the chihuaua at my sister's house, Ava cuddled it all the way home, calling her Chicken wawa. When we got home she went out in the back yard anxd chased her around the yard saying Chicken wawa chicken wawa, mere!! COME MERE!!!

2 weeks off..

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Sat, 17 Jan 2009 04:53:00 +0000

I have had 2 lovely weeks off with my kids. Not really a vacation.. but rather a lack of work holiday. I am still getting paid.. more actually to stay home cause of on call pay but running quickly out of paid time off. I really feel that the longer I stay home though... the less I want to come back. It is a vicious circle!! The time that I have had though has been great. I have enjoyed every minute of being the mommy, not having to say goodbye to a screaming Ava in the window and getting to play with Ruby and her happy 1 year old self. I remember all the reasons I didn't want to stay home full time, but now I wish I could at least work less. Full time is a lot of time to miss. My kids are wild, yet sweet beyond belief. They are all so different yet mirror some of the values and beliefs I have tried so hard to instill in them. I treasure this time.. time they want to spend with me before age and maturity leads them to the realization that I am boring and uncool. Before they know I am imperfect and that I don't always know what I am doing. I guiltily call in for another available day... knowing that I can make up the pto but won't ever get this time back with my sweet sweet children.

Birthday!!

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:14:00 +0000

I still can't believe my baby is one~~

http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/cheese_omlett/Ruby%20ONE/?action=view¤t=P1050005.flv

http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y20/cheese_omlett/Ruby%20ONE/?action=view¤t=P1050131.flv

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 17:13:00 +0000

When you are slightly cranky... the kids sense this and do everything annoying they can think of... This morning Ava wsa standing on the top of the table yelling FREAK!! Then... that situation diffused she is in the girls room getting into everything.. (they are gonna have a cow)
Then a few minutes later I am hit in the back of the head with a binky "binky's go nite nite" Well... at least we got that concept down. Now she is unloading all the movies into my lap and saying NEMO NEMO??

Happenings

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Wed, 14 Jan 2009 16:53:00 +0000

Christmas was great... if somewhat overshadowed by the finances... I hate that... Kayla got her much wanted guitar and Ava got babies and a baby crib. Olivia got My Little Ponies and Ruby got a little people barn with animals. Ava has since confiscated that but it is ok... Ruby gets anything her hands fall on. We gave Daine an MP3 player and we all had Christmas dinner together and played board games. It was really nice. Shortly after that was Ruby's birthday.. It was poorly planned (It kind of snuck up on me) but she had a blast. She got to eat spaghetti for dinner and then crammed a cake into her face with her fist. She got a toy drum and a couple puzzles for presents. As far as first birthdays go... it was a good one!!
I am now working day shift... although I have only worked once in two weeks.. Taking PTO days right now... Daycare continues to be a bit of a struggle and I decided I didn't want to worry about it this week :D.

MOMMY

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 00:20:00 +0000

I just made closepin dolls with the girls.. managed to make 4 of them and then hot glued my fingers to the hair of the fourth one... Ava fingerpainted and then glittered everything so now she is a sparkly paint mess... She is wearing my underwear and I am stuffing a too small kitty shirt on her so she won't yell while she throws laundry from my clean laundry pile under the chair at the cat. We still have dinner and bedtime to get through.... I also might add that after changing six stinky diapers today (from both kids) Ava smells suspicious....

Ava SMILE

noreply@blogger.com (Janelle smells) — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 08:54:00 +0000

I said "Ava, smile for the picture"

She is so funny!!