These things happen

On a more regular basis than I am willing to admit.  I am eating  tots for breakfast.... At 2pm.  My child insists they are beautiful with ice on them.  She would still like them hot however.  I am glad as I feel eating frozen tots would elevate us to a low that I have yet to experience.  I have also concluded from yesterday's misadventures that eating pumpkin seeds for breakfast is a mistake.  

Cheers for tots 

Parenting fail #2,000,687

Ruby:  I didn't say a bad word. I only said Fuck, Mom

Me: don't say fuck

Ruby:  ok 

Cousins rock!

We see them all the time but they are still the best thing in the world! 

Kids are cooler

My kid says: Your stretched ears are ok, but it’s not something I would ever do. 

Huh… I thought the kids were going to be much cooler than me.

This child I have

Often Ruby is seen walking around the house in scientific discussion with a rubber alligator named Honey. Honey accompanies us on almost every excursion outside and to every grocery store. She has also taken to calling almost all alligators Honey. Ruby loves stingrays, whales, sharks, and snakes. She is fascinated with the ocean and anything that swims. We have several fish tanks in the house and she never tires of feeding the fish. She fearlessly puts her fingers into the African Cichlid tank even though Severus the Red Devil fish is quite intimidating and has been known to launch his entire body out of the water for a morsel of food.
Several weeks ago I had ordered pizza and wings (Ava loves wings). We had finished eating and everyone was gathered around the table talking. I was watching a video on my iPad about these migratory birds that returned to the same island every year to raise their young. It started as a beautiful documentary describing their social hierarchy and their attentive parenting style. Then, it took a different turn. These birds are dying in the hundreds now. Amongst the sun bleached bones on the beach lies the evidence of the pollution that killed them. These birds are full of garbage and plastic. They are literally dying from ocean pollution. I noticed the stares of eight little eyes and decided it was a good time to spread some naturalistic propaganda. We discussed pollution and the dangers of littering. We talked about recycling and buying items with less packaging. Ruby had disappeared, apparently growing bored of this lecture. I found her moments later in the kitchen whispering into her closed hand.
" whatcha doing Ruby?"

"Shhh mamma, I'm talking to my bird. He's dead, he's dead cause he's full of trash. I'm talking to my dead bird".

It took me almost an hour to convince her that the remnants of our chicken wing dinner was NOT a dead bird full of trash. I am told that this also led to an incident with a dead robin and mortified grandparents.

As disgusting as she can be, I love the way she thinks. I can never anticipate what she will say or do next. Thanks Ruby, thanks for being so darn fun.

Week-end

It is Sunday night and my spawn are coming up with every conceivable emergency to keep us up just a little longer. You win spawn…The sky is falling. However… I am going to bed. Have fun getting up at 5am.

Ape

Yeah, pretty much that’s how all my dates go.

Wild

This would be a typical Friday night at my house

Line em up

This picture of my child explains so many things.

Bonding over inappropriate tv.

Me: what do you like about this show?

Ruby: all the ugly things.